POLL: How Would You Rate The MLM Sales Pitches Of Data Network Affiliates On Scale Of ‘A’ To ‘F’?

By now you’ve likely heard about Data Network Affiliates, a multilevel-marketing (MLM) company that launched by telling prospects it was in the business of recording license-plate numbers useful for the AMBER Alert program and then morphed virtually overnight into a purported cell-phone business.

“GAME OVER — WE WIN,” DNA told members in a message that offered unlimited cell-phone service for $10 a month. Within three weeks, however, DNA acknowledged that it could not offer such pricing.  In an email to members, the company conceded that its earlier message announcing that it had conquered the cell-phone business within days of entering it was a mistake.

For good measure, DNA blamed an ambitious reseller for making it believe it could offer unlimited service for $10 a month, while also revealing it hadn’t researched cell-phone pricing structures prior to announcing it had conquered the trade.

Today the PP Blog is publishing a new poll that asks readers to rate DNA’s sales pitches. Some readers may wish to search the PP site before responding to the poll. The search function is in the upper-right corner of the Blog.

Today is May 25, 2010. As of the publication of this post, the poll is in the right sidebar, and also enclosed within the post.

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6 Responses to “POLL: How Would You Rate The MLM Sales Pitches Of Data Network Affiliates On Scale Of ‘A’ To ‘F’?”

  1. I’m tempted to vote ‘A’.
    “Exceptionally professional.” – at targeting the MLM numpties with exactly what they want to hear.

    “MLM at its finest.” – a fine collection of the usual MLM “products”. Phones that don’t exist, snake-oil sleep magnets, and health drinks. Did I see “alkaline water” in there somewhere?

    “Sets new standard for excellence.” – excellent job of finding just the right kind of suckers. Even after it was shown, proved and admitted that Phill The-Crime-Wave Piccolo was behind this, they are still finding people willing to part with their money?

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  2. Clearly to anyone who follows scams and scam trackers, DNA screams SCAM, but for someone new to the so called “internet marketing industry”, I guess it could attract desperate people (which is presumably its intention)
    .
    The car plate collecting is as dubious in its credibility as it is with NarcThatCar, but the addition of other “products” lend it a little more credibility.

    Would love to give in an “F” rating, like the BBB gave NarcThatCar/CSI. but as they do have members, I guess it will have to have a higher rating – like a D- lol

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  3. Patrick: I think the 2 who voted “A” (so far) misunderstood what you were saying in your poll. They thought when you said: Sets new standard for excellence; you meant a new high in best fiction, best over-hyped, and a new high for the best BS in advertising. Thus why they voted “A.”

    Either that or it George Madiou and Phil Piccolo who voted.

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  4. Lynn said: “Patrick: I think the 2 who voted “A” (so far) misunderstood what you were saying in your poll. They thought when you said: Sets new standard for excellence; you meant a new high in best fiction, best over-hyped, and a new high for the best BS in advertising. Thus why they voted “A.”

    “Either that or it George Madiou and Phil Piccolo who voted.”

    Hi Lynn,

    I don’t know who votes and how they vote. But it is a fact that DNA sent out an email that endorsed Piccolo, which surely meant the company was pleased with his performance.

    Of course, some MLMs would endorse vomit if it could be packaged and hyped for downline commissions.

    To hear some moderate voices in MLM tell it, endorsing Piccolo is like endorsing verbal vomit. If that’s the case, it follows that some immoderate MLMers celebrate verbal vomit, thus rejecting the moderate voices while identifying with and championing a professional vomiteer-for-hire.

    Whatever “works,” you know . . . If life gives you vomit, make Vomit-Aid and sell it on the Internet. If all else fails, sell $10 unlimited cell phone service with free phones, along with back-ache cures.

    When life as we know it ends — and if fate dictates that a camera is perfectly positioned to record the final events for visitors from space to observe one day — the final scene will include these words:

    “Human Body Parts. All organs and limbs. Register for free. Commissions 16 levels deep.”

    The end of the world definitely will be tied to MLM extremism.

    Patrick

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  5. admin: Lynn said: “Patrick: I think the 2 who voted “A” (so far) misunderstood what you were saying in your poll. They thought when you said: Sets new standard for excellence; you meant a new high in best fiction, best over-hyped, and a new high for the best BS in advertising. Thus why they voted “A.”“Either that or it George Madiou and Phil Piccolo who voted.”Hi Lynn, I don’t know who votes and how they vote. But it is a fact that DNA sent out an email that endorsed Piccolo, which surely meant the company was pleased with his performance.Of course, some MLMs would endorse vomit if it could be packaged and hyped for downline commissions.To hear some moderate voices in MLM tell it, endorsing Piccolo is like endorsing verbal vomit. If that’s the case, it follows that some immoderate MLMers celebrate verbal vomit, thus rejecting the moderate voices while identifying with and championing a professional vomiteer-for-hire.Whatever “works,” you know . . . If life gives you vomit, make Vomit-Aid and sell it on the Internet. If all else fails, sell $10 unlimited cell phone service with free phones, along with back-ache cures.When life as we know it ends — and if fate dictates that a camera is perfectly positioned to record the final events for visitors from space to observe one day — the final scene will include these words:“Human Body Parts. All organs and limbs. Register for free. Commissions 16 levels deep.”The end of the world definitely will be tied to MLM extremism.Patrick  (Quote)

    This is just too funny, but sadly true. Great writing as always.

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  6. Lynn,

    I am one of the “A” voters. As Tony H aptly points out, this IS MLM at its finest. I was going for “F”, but when I read the definition of “A”, I couldn’t help but think that that fit the profile better in the sense of Tony’s explanations……

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