EDITORIAL: Who’d Have Thunk It?

“But like Heaven above me/The spy who loved me/Is keeping all my secrets safe tonight”Lyrics from “Nobody Does It Better,” composed by Marvin Hamlisch, written by Carole Bayer Sager, performed by Carly Simon as the theme song of the James Bond film, “The Spy Who Loved Me.” Elektra Records, 1977.

British spy James Bond, the world’s most public keeper of secrets, de-stressed through drollness. “Mmm, maybe I misjudged Stromberg,” he said in The Spy Who Loved Me. “Any man who drinks Dom Perignon ’52 can’t be all bad.”

Bond, remarkably, has saved humanity approximately two dozen times over the years. Even more remarkable is that we know this. At least one of the saves, according to a film that never should have been made public, occurred in space.

People in general didn’t know what had gone down in the cosmos and never should have been told. Given that the plot failed and they were still alive, they simply didn’t need to know. This is why it is so surprising MI6 made Moonraker public and actually sold tickets.

Tacky.

We’ll perhaps never know how many times the CIA and its various spies have saved humanity. Mum’s the word at Langley. Regardless, we appear to have found out today that agency that never talks and never sleeps also has a Bond-like odd and amusing quality.

Film at 11? Not a chance. Mum’s the word at Langley.

Memo to MI6: Stop putting your secrets on film. We really don’t want to know.

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