EDITORIAL: Private Big Brothers Meet The Stepford Children; Armed With Paper, Pen And Video Cameras, MLM Army Coming To A Neighborhood Near You

The probability of a public-relations backlash with Narc That Car and Data Network Affiliates (DNA) is high. Promotions for the companies have been both bizarre and reckless. The cheerleading has been downright creepy. Some local media outlets are beginning to pay attention. It quickly could become fodder for Larry King, Bill O’Reilly, Jay Leno, David Letterman and Oprah.

A Story With Worldwide Interest Born For TV And Tabloids

Few things make better TV fodder than a real-life “Big Brother” story, perhaps especially if Big Brother’s Army isn’t led by the government and consists of thousands and thousands of civilian commanders and Stepford children.

This particular MLM story also is born for newspapers, including the tabloids. If the story makes its way into Europe, the headlines will suggest Americans would sell their grandmothers into hucksterism if it meant trading in the reliable old Ford for a flashy BMW.

People in the news business know that news is man bites dog, not the other way around. The story of Narc That Car and DNA is man bites dog — and perhaps man bites himself. The man is interesting simply because he’s American. Man bites himself is one of the great themes of literature and tabloid journalism. Tabloid editors love it when the man biting himself is an American.

MLM, which already has a bad reputation, has hit a new low. Internet marketing, which already has a bad reputation, has hit a new low. Ladies and Gentlemen, the private Big Brothers of America have met the Stepford Children. Together they’re coming to a neighborhood near you.

Here, in italics (below), is the promoters’ cheerleading strategy — in condensed form. Whether or not it’s condoned at the corporate level is virtually meaningless. Why? Because the Stepford army already is in motion, and it is doing what the Stepford army does: Recruiting other Stepfords — money Stepfords — Stepfords who behave reflexively on cue, have no sense of PR or propriety and will do anything if money is involved. The Stepfords are biting themselves at this very moment.

Narc That Car and DNA are coming to a neighborhood near you. Drop whatever you’re doing. Start writing down the license-plate numbers of your neighbors. Go to the supermarket parking lot or the Walmart parking lot and start writing down the plate numbers of store patrons (your neighbors).

Don’t seek the express consent of the retailers to use their parking lots and the plate numbers of their patrons as your information goldmine and secret pathway to personal riches. No one has to know what you’re doing. Enter the information in a web-accessible database the companies provide for a fee or put it in the mail and let the companies enter the information.

“You write them (license-plate numbers) down,” said a Narc That Car promoter on You Tube. “You take pictures of them, which is what I just did on my iPhone. I just walked down the aisle at Walmart and snapped like 100 cars, literally, on my way into Walmart.

“And I parked in the very back, and I just walked and snapped a bunch of pictures as I was walking. I was already going in anyway, so it didn’t take me any more time and effort, and I got a little bit more exercise than I [would] have,” the promoter said. “So, it’s a win-win. So, hey, you got a weight-loss opportunity here, too. [Laughing.] You’ll walk and you’ll lose weight, and you’ll have lots of money.”

Now, back to the cheerleading strategy . . .

Recruit people (your family, friends, neighbors and online contacts) to do the same. Suggest they are helping AMBER Alert or law enforcement by joining these MLM companies. Tell them how bad the economy is and how bad the bad guys are. Tell them you have the solution for the bad economy and a tool that gives the bad guys a one-way ticket to jail. Imply that joining Narc That Car or DNA is like performing a public service. Perhaps put an ad on craigslist that suggests you’re part of a community “watchdog” program.

“Get Paid to be a watchdog in your community . . .” a craigslist ad for Narc That Car prompted last week.

One Narc That Car promoter claimed the purpose of the program was “To help The US Dep’t of Homeland Security find terrorists.” Another claimed, “We are backed by the better business bureau, the F.B.I., and the Amber Alert system . . . ” Yet another claimed, “A company out of Dallas needs to grow a data base of license plates to use for Amber Alerts and other reasons.”

The U.S. Department of Justice, which oversees AMBER Alert, said Narc That Car was in “no way affiliated” with the AMBER Alert system. So did the National Center For Missing & Exploited Children, which administers AMBER Alert’s secondary distribution program. The Better Business Bureau has opened an inquiry into the company’s business practices and compensation plan. The FBI, an arm of the Justice Department, has not endorsed Narc That Car.

Now, back to the cheerleading strategy . . .

Make sure you emphasize that there are no “barriers” to entering the “business.” Startup costs are low or nonexistent. This will help you get poor people or people in the shackles of poverty in your downline. Suggest the programs are the cure for the high unemployment rate and that you’re doing your part for America by helping put people to work. Appeal to the patriotism of your prospects. Tell them they’re helping the Department of Homeland Security find terrorists.

Drop a few names of prominent people — living or dead — in your promos or conference calls. Names such as Tim Russert, Donald Trump and Oprah work well, even if they are not involved in the programs. By namedropping, you can leech off the brands of famous people and companies and create credibility by osmosis.

In recent DNA conference calls, the names of Russert, Trump and Oprah all were dropped. So was AMBER Alert’s name. So was the name of “law enforcement.” One promoter suggested AMBER Alert was wasting taxpayers’ dollars.

“I’m pretty sure you heard of AMBER Alert,” he said. “It saved over 497 people. But guess what? AMBER Alert, I think, costs about over $100 million a year or some kind of astronomical number. Don’t quote me on the figures here, but it saved some lives. But the system we have in place. I want you to imagine if your daughter . . .”

The DNA promoter then asked listeners to imagine loved ones being “kidnapped” and “molested” and “raped” — with Data Network Affiliates providing the tool to track down the kidnappers and molesters and rapists.

In a separate DNA call, the promoter suggested that church parking lots were good places for DNA members to record license-plate numbers. Walmart, too.

Major retailers put the address of their stores “right on the receipt,” making it easy for DNA members who are shopping in the stores to enter the information in DNA’s database after they write down plate numbers in the parking lot,” the promoter said.

“You walk into the parking lot,” he said. “Guess what? You have vehicles all over the place. You can easily jot down 20 or 30 of them, literally in five or 10 minutes.”

He did not say if DNA members were required to obtain the permission of church pastors to record the plate numbers of congregants or retailers such as Walmart to record the plate numbers of patrons.

The promoter, however, did say that 100 million license plates entered into the DNA database could become “the equivalent of just about $1 billion” in potential revenue for DNA.

Meanwhile, on DNA’s website, the company was saying this:

“ONLY 492 children Since (sic) 1997, has the AMBER Alert program been credited for safe recovery. DNA could help in such safe recoveries at a fraction of cost (sic) of Amber Alert… If DNA help (sic) save ONE MORE CHILD it’s worth it? (sic).”

The same sales message said, “Our mission is to turn data into dollars.”

Now, back to the cheerleading strategy . . .

Create an “exciting” atmosphere. Talk about how “excited” you are. Suggest people can get rich, then backpedal, explaining that you wouldn’t want people to get the wrong impression. Throw your line in the water, but reel it back quickly. You don’t want people to see themselves as the fish; you want them to see themselves as the fishermen.

Create (perhaps) some boilerplate language that explains all Narc That Car and DNA members are independent contractors required to follow the law. Don’t let your downline give the practical realities a moment of thought — things such as whether permission to record plate numbers needs to be obtained, what to do if a store manager or patron calls the police, whether promoters need solicitors’ licenses from local jurisdictions, whether a promoter working as an independent consultant should increase his or her insurance protection or secure a bond against potential claims, what to do if promoters are confronted by retail managers, patrons or police, whether the paper on which they’re recording license numbers needs to be preserved, whether the video on which they’re recording plate numbers needs to be preserved and how they’re supposed to behave if challenged.

Keep them focused on the money and how excited you are. Tell them you barely can sleep. Don’t mention Big Brother. Don’t even suggest other people would be apt to view acquisition of plate numbers on private property as an untenable invasion of privacy. Keep them focused on the money and on AMBER Alert.

And, by all means, don’t even suggest there is anything Stepfordian about doing what you’re told without asking any questions: Just do it. Explain that the people who ask questions and raise issues of propriety, safety and legality are naysayers and malcontents and “haters.”

Never imagine that a TV reporter or a newspaper reporter or a tabloid reporter is going to stick a microphone in your face and ask why you’re writing down license-plate numbers in a supermarket parking lot and trading off AMBER Alert’s name to build a database for the repo man or another customer who could monitor the whereabouts of your car and your neighbor’s car even if you aren’t suspected of murder, kidnapping, molestation or rape. Don’t concern yourself with mundane issues such as who has access to the database and whether any of your fellow plate-number recorders are criminals themselves.

Whatever you do, don’t imagine your neighbors expressing shock and outrage and having bitter expressions on their faces. If confronted, tell them you’re writing down license-plate numbers to make America a better, safer place.

And tell them they’re free to join, and might even want to consider registering a .org domain with a pitch that begins, “Help us.”