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Tag: multilevel marketing

  • EDITORIAL: Grab Your Umbrella And Air Freshener: Data Network Affiliates’ Vomit Spigot Wide Open And Raining Down On World Of MLM

    EDITOR’S NOTE: Readers with queasy tummies are duly cautioned that this post is on the subject of MLM vomit. No, the troops aren’t packaging and selling regurgitated stomach juice and chunky bits that pay commissions 10 levels deep — at least not yet. This post discusses MLM advertising vomit as practiced by Data Network Affiliates, which has declared that a mysterious practitioner known as “Mr P” is promoting the “D.N.A. 1000 Team.” Mr. P is said to be a “19 Time Million Dollar Earner” who “Holds Every MLM World Recruiting Record.”

    Here, now, our take on the vomitous pitch . . .

    Incoming! If you are a member of Data Network Affiliates (DNA), you have a duty to grab your umbrellas, air freshener and garden hose and warn your downline to do the same. It has become clear that the company has turned its vomit spigot wide open.

    Yesterday’s vomit attack followed on the heels of a vomitous flurry late last month that prompted members to imagine themselves racking up 10,000 miles while recording license-plate data for the company.

    “Imagine driving 10,000 miles for your DNA Business = up to a $5,000 Tax Deduction,” DNA prompted members in May.

    If you are a member of DNA — and if you are a multilevel-marketing (MLM) aficionado or one of the industry’s so-called servant-leaders — you have a duty to warn all potential prospects to be prepared for sustained email vomit attacks. Advise them that, if they intend to open the emails, to make sure the laptop on their home-office network works outdoors.

    Under no circumstances should DNA emails be opened indoors. The vomit they project can damage your carpeting, furniture, curtains and fixtures, all while stinking up the inside of your home, perhaps forever. Remember: A stink-removal crew is expensive, and there’s no guarantee the stench will fully dissipate. You could awaken in the middle of the night six years from now, take a sniff and again reach the horrifying conclusion that, yep, its still there.

    Important: Open DNA’s emails only outdoors. The initial burst of pressure from the vomit will be sufficient to pump it on an arc away from your laptop, and your laptop’s built-in vomit seal will protect it from damage. The seal will close instantly when it senses a temperature drop in the the hot-air belch that accompanies the vomit, thus protecting your computer from drips and embarrassing streaks from run-off.

    Open the emails quickly and step back. Be prepared: It may take up to three minutes for the vomit to stop gushing. Have the umbrella at the ready in case you were unable to step back quickly enough and got caught in the vomit storm.

    After the storm subsides, use the garden hose to clear the umbrella of both liquid and chunky vomit. Apply the air freshener liberally to the umbrella. Let it dry. Repeat the process as necessary or buy dollar-store, disposable umbrellas in bulk. Hint: A dollar store also is a great place to buy air freshener in bulk.

  • First Narc That Car, Now ‘PlatesRUs’: Promoter Says He Recorded 10 License Plate Numbers In Walmart Parking Lot And Earned A ‘Check’

    Part of the 'PlatesRUs' pitch for Narc That Car.

    Using a domain name similar to the famous ToysRUs brand name, a domain that has branded itself PlatesRUs.biz is promoting the Narc That Car multilevel-marketing program by telling prospects that earning $50 is a simple as going down to the local Walmart parking lot and writing down 10 license-plate numbers of WalMart shoppers.

    The PlatesRUs video pitch is similar to a pitch apparently put out by a separate Narc That Car downline group known as Team Trinity International. The Team Trinity promo included the logos of 30 famous companies, identifying their parking lots as places NarcThatCar members should visit to harvest plate numbers and record them in a database through a website NarcThatCar provides for a $100 start-up fee and a monthly fee of $24.95.

    A narrator in the PlatesRUs video for Narc That Car tells a simple story:

    “I went to Walmart,” he said. “It took me every bit of five minutes to write down 10 tag numbers randomly, go in my back office and log it into the national database through the company, and actually earn a check.”

    By paying Narc That Car the $100 fee, promoters become a “registered information consultant,” the PlatesRUs promoter explained in the video, noting he was “very excited” to have become one. The pitchman added that the program was “tremendously exciting” and “growing like wildfire.”

    No mention was made in the video of any privacy or legal concerns. Like the Team Trinity video, the PlatesRUs video did not instruct members on matters such as whether Narc That Car participants would need permission to enter retailers’ private property for the purposes of harvesting license-plate data from the retailers’ patrons.

    Viewers were given no instruction on what to do if a Walmart shopper — or a shopper at any other prominent business — observed his or her plate number being recorded and objected, perhaps demanding the paper on which the number was recorded so it could be shown to the store manager or even the police. The implication in both videos was that recording license-plate numbers raised no privacy issues at all and was a perfectly acceptable practice — even on private property.

    Like the Team Trinity video and a video put out by Narc That Car, the PlatesRUs video referenced the AMBER Alert program. The U.S. Department of Justice said this week that Narc That Car was not affiliated with AMBER Alert, despite promoters’ repeated claims that Narc That Car was tied to the AMBER Alert system.

    Some Narc That Car promoters have said the FBI and companies such as the Ford Motor Co. endorsed the Narc That Car program.

    The PatrickPretty.com Blog contacted Ford and provided a reference to the claim, which purports that Ford and two other prominent car companies “have already given their commitment to NARC. They have signed on as clients and will be there to use the database when it is ready. These companies believe in this idea.”

    Ford did not immediately respond to the inquiry.

    Among the claims online about Narc That Car are that it is helping “The US Dep’t of Homeland Security find terrorists” and that “NARC has integrated with Amber Alert to support and assist them in locating missing and/or abducted children.”